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ROQUEFORT — CHEESE OF DISTINCTION
Surely the finest fermented
dairy ever to have graced man's gentle palette, Roquefort today celebrates
its 812th birthday, a living tribute, nay, testimonial, to fungal ingenuity.
Invented by accident by the Earl of Sandwich in his attempts to find the
ultimate bread spread, Roquefort (named after the Earl's cousin's favorite
horse, whose stable's aroma bore an uncanny resemblance to that of the crumbly
new delicacy) soon caught on in local lower-class pubs and breweries as
an antidote to overconsumption of alcohol, inducing as it did the kind of
immediate regurgitation necessary.
How far medical science has
come since those days, and how far indeed has Roquefort come since these
auspicious origins. Touted as a miracle diaphragmatic, it sold during the
fabulous golden era of comic opera in the eighteenth century, later to be
rediscovered by Freud as a narcotic capable of inducing instant access to
the subconscious mind through hypnosis. Both of these paths dead-ended as
fads, but not before plucky Roquefort crossed to the New World on the backs
of strapping young Irish-Vietnamese immigrants. For a time, Ellis Island
was rank with the pungent, clinging odors of America's newest must-have
import. Roquefort became the plaything of the rich and the staple food
stuffof the hardworking middle class.
It was on its way to replacing
cotton candy as the jolly fun-time snack of choice at carnivals and world
expos (including the 1927 World's Fair which touted, among other things,
no fewer than three exhibitions of Roquefort-reinforced nylons and plastics,
and a demonstration of early television on a Roquefort-coated cathode ray
tube) when the bottom suddenly dropped out of the industrial cheese market.
A synthetic polymer derived from a waxy hair tonic was introduced as "American
cheese," a poor but available-for-pennies substitute for unlucky Roquefort,
which topped out at $138 a half-ounce in 1935. Traditional Roquefort-'n'-apple
pies were replaced by their bland cousin, the plain apple pie, at Sunday
picnics, and soon Roquefort was all but forgotten, a dim memory cherished
by old grannies, merchant seamen, and the ne'er-do-wells who made a black
market fortune selling crude Roquefort derivatives in Chicago speakeasies.
How striking the irony, then,
when Adolf Hitler announced his intention in 1941 to eradicate all but German
cheeses from the dinner plates of Europe, putting Roquefort (dear, gentle
Roquefort!) at the top of his hate list of "inferior curd." Bravely,
our finest fighting lads marched off to war — the rallying cry "Roquefort
for victory" pressing them onward, against all odds! It was at Yalta
that Churchill and Roosevelt first felt the icy breeze of the coming Cold
War, when an impetuous Stalin declined to share in a golden victory brick
of freshly-minted Roquefort. Was this not what they had fought fascism so
fiercely to protect?
And so it goes, through the
sunny 50's and turbulent 60's, on to today, when Roquefort is available
to all lovers of democracy everywhere. Even the snub given this worn and
beaten, but still-proud little fromage by former President George Bush,
who in defense of his anti-broccoli agenda resorted to the tactic of sneering,
"At least it's better than that Roquefort stuff — it makes me
sick," can't put a dent in the 812 years of honor and service this
humble cheese has given we, the people. For shame, Mr. Bush! I say, God
Bless Roquefort, long may she wave!
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