ifMUD - A MUD Forever Monkeying HAVE AN ACCOUNT? Type "connect name password greeting" to log in. NEED AN ACCOUNT? Point your web browser at http://fovea.retina.net:4001/ WANT TO KNOW WHO'S HERE? Type 'who' for a list of current users JUST VISITING? You can also log on as a guest by typing "connect guest guest". ANY PROBLEMS? Send email to Liza Daly TYPE connect, who, or quit: *********************** Login Succeeded "There's no substitute for a good, straight aliasing." -- official motto ifMUD An interactive conversation Copyright (c) 1998 by rec.[arts|games].int-fiction Release 41 / Serial number 970720 / perlMUD v2.1z ifMUD is brought to you by retina.net, an ISP in Massachusetts running off a state-of-the-art battery-powered salad shooter. FAQ: http://www.ministryofpeace.com/text/ifMUD/faq.html BACKUP: 208.221.8.3 4000 PHOTOS: http://www.retina.net/~ddyte/ NEWS 10/01/98 More Code Updates markm added a field to the @poll that displays the current pollster. Type 'who'. Polls will also survive reboots now. Room names will no longer be acronymized (yay!) Here There Be Spoilers! Discussions of the 1998 IF Competition should be kept in Spoilerville (southeast from the lounge). To view this again, simply type 'motd' without the quotes. Robinson Manor Black tarpaulin and plastic curtains are strewn around the room, covering all surfaces. A sign reads, "Under construction, terribly sorry. ---jrw." You can see: A picture window. Visible Exits: west [jrw] jrw disappears in a puff of logic. [schep] is dragged out into real life, kicking and screaming. lounge Just chatting your life away, right? Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, aoeu, Jarb, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Adam, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, liza, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room who User On Idle Ooga. liza 16m05 03m07 I am FOR higher nudity rates. lpsmith 15m56 02m05 Up as a sun, down as a pancake. Spatch 15m58 02m55 really manly pumpkin pie markm 15m41 00m30 Only on alternate Tuesdays. Jarb 14m03 01m22 Sleeping. Adam 14m00 02m11 God will tell me what to purchase! Torbjorn 05m47 05m21 this calm blank of the workstation intentionally DorianX 05m43 05m43 repeat till it's funny HairBrain 02m14 00m36 Mw¸rble. jrw 00m48 00m00 Feeling at home again. Uptime: 16m15; pollster: Monkey butler End of List. markm says, "Hey there, JR" Spatch says (to jrw), "howdy! you lowercased yourself when I wasn't looking." You say, "Hi" markm heads up to the caf for a soda. You say, "Yeah, after an hour or so, I noticed that the caps didn't seem to fit the style of this place." x liza Tracy Valencia has left the building. finger liza Login name: liza In real life: Liza "Petra" Daly Location: Drawing-room Of The Adventurer Gender: Female Email address: gecko@retina.net IF work: Bloodline, Chickens of Distinction, and the MUD URL: http://fovea.retina.net/ Currently logged in. Plan: Never eat anything larger than your own head. Spatch grins. x competition conversation Please take it to Spoilerville, southeast of here. Spoilerville A faintly rotten stink permeates the room. Cartons of expired milk litter the floor. In one corner, a bratty child is throwing a tantrum. The air seems fresher to the northwest. You can see: sign Visible Exits: northwest read sign Here there be spoilers! Discussions of the 1998 IF Competition (http://www.ifcompetition.org) are allowed here and only here! Pending ddyte approval, game review objects may also be created and dropped here. Don't forget to @lock! x child I don't see that here. nw Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, aoeu, Jarb, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Adam, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, liza, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room x whizzard A syntax nazi. He's wearing a baseball cap that says, "The Ham Fighters." x reviews http://www.phy.duke.edu/~sgranade/reviews.html finger sargent Login name: Sargent In real life: Stephen Granade Location: Sargent's Quarters Gender: Male IF work: _Losing Your Grip_ Last login: 10/01/98 12:40:27 Plan: Wassa plan? [schep] Boy, I need a better connect message. x what is mbti/intp MBTI stands for "Myers-Briggs Type Indicator". Like the name sort of suggests, it classifies people on 4 binary scales, sorting them into one of 16 personality types. If you want to take an informal test that gives a correct MBTI type about 50-75% of the time, check out http://www.keirsey.com/cgi-bin/keirsey/newkts.cgi I'm not real impressed with the descriptions of the different types, though. As an alternative, I suggest checking out the following two sites for type descriptions and examples, respectively: http://typelogic.com/ http://www.chisp.net/~apteryx/myers-briggs/examples My type is INTP. You can check out http://www.intp.org for more specific INTP stuff, plus a link to the (highish-volume) mailing list, plus links to a whole bunch of various kinds of tests (personality, geek, generic purity, etc). lpsmith asks, "Can we get a cute @odrop from the spoiler room?" You ask, "What does it say now?" schep drops down from a plastic slide, and discharges his static by zapping Torbjorn! lpsmith says, "Just '___ has arrived.'" liza says (to lpsmith), "Go ahead, wizard." liza grins. lpsmith says, "I haven't coded anything on this MUD in over a year." Jarb dropped WeetaComp. WeetaComp goes home. Torbjorn says, "Ouch." schep exclaims, "ooo, slippery!" You say, "____ sneaks out of there, rubbing his/her hands and chuckling."" Jarb goes east. Jarb arrives from the east. lpsmith says, "Except to create new ojbects and give 'em descriptions." Jarb says, "oops" x jarb The coolest dude you've ever seen, wearing an Italian suit, smoking a cool cigar, and sipping cognac. Carrying: gold medal in '80s pop culture trivia, WeetaComp liza says (to lpsmith), "Otay." liza enters a room to the southeast. As the door closes, you hear someone say, 'Man, CASK just keeps getting worse and worse!'. x liza I don't see that here. Jarb dropped WeetaComp. x weetacomp Now that IF Comp98 is in the judging stage, we all need something else to do. So, I've got an idea. Write a small game where Weetabix is the PC or at least an important part of the game and send it to me. I'll give these games to her when she's old enough to understand them. If you want to give them an age rating, go ahead. No winner. Just for my daughter's indoctrination into our twisted little world. Sign below with your game title... Jarb: The Mysterious World of Weetabix Torbjorn thought all programming here was made by highly skilled monkeys anyway. liza enter from the southeast, thoroughly spoiled. lpsmith exclaims, "Yay!" lpsmith says, "Uh, 'enters', though." You ask, "Weetabix?" liza says, "Oops." liza enters a room to the southeast. As the door closes, you hear someone say, 'Have you tried picking up the phone booth?'. Adam says, "'liza enter from cave. Ugh.'" Jarb says (to jrw), "my 5 week old daughter" liza enters from the southeast, thoroughly spoiled. Jarb says (to jrw), "she's on the HOS..." You say, "ohhhh right. (and congratulations)" Jarb says, "6 weeks monday" Spatch says, "yaaay" Spatch says (to liza), "nice osucc" Jarb exclaims, "And still no unfortunate blender incidents!" You say, "At last I've discovered the source of in-jokes that I could not fathom." liza asks (to Spatch), "You mean @odrop?" jrw basks. DorianX says, "Dejanews is now selling merchandise" Torbjorn says (to Jarb), "You know, that Usenet thread scared me. I kept misreading it as "Jarb is dead", rather than "Jarb is dad"." Jarb exclaims, "Eaaagh!" liza sells 'Liza's Posts on USENET: The Collector's Edition'. Torbjorn says, "Indeed." HairBrain says, "I'm sorry I missed it. Even more so because I suppose all the cheesy Congratulations! refs have been sucked dry. Well, congratulations anyway." You say, "I think I misread it like that a few times. Especially when there were 100's of posts to read and my eyes were in scan-mode." Jarb says, "The reports of my demise have been greatly exagerated..." lpsmith asks (to DX), "What was Posted on Your Birthday Last Year?" read note The room is #5612. Jarb says, "and celebrated too often" read A note I don't see that here. DorianX says (to lps), "Sadly no. Mugs and hats" Oh. Not a valid command. Try typing help. You say, "Oh, I just noticed that the room description has un-scrambled." liza unscrambles 'How Daddy Is Doing'. lpsmith says (to liza), "I had to think of something fast." liza asks (to lpsmith), "Wha?" finger dorianx Login name: DorianX In real life: L. Ross Raszewski Location: Drawing-room Of The Adventurer Gender: Male Email address: rraszews@hotmail.com, rraszews@skipjack.bluecrab.org, rraszews@teamknightrider.com, rraszews@acm.org, rraszews@usa.net, lraszewski@loyola.edu, dorianx@my-dejanews.com, DorianX@textfire.com, rraszews@coldmail.com, lraszews@{csmaster, wisdom, virtue, accord, purity, mercy, peace, sanity, lbf}.loyola.edu, lraszews@{schultz, pigpen, linus, lucy, snoopy, charlie}.cs.loyola.edu, rraszews@popmail.com, {web,rraszews,dorianx}@valpac.com, ross@dog.com Currently logged in. No plan. liza exclaims, "OH!" liza exclaims, "Yay!" Spatch asks (to liza), "hugging traffic signs, are you?" lpsmith says, "When they don't understand the answer,... yeah." liza says (to Spatch), "Someday I'd like to direct." Spatch laughs himself silly. Everyone exclaims, "Too late!" x case trophy Spatch says (to liza), "and i meant nice odrop on the se exit. random goodies are always very good." I don't see that here. x case It's quite large really. open case The trophy case is already opened. look in case You find nothing interesting. liza says (to Spatch), "Oh, that was Adam." jrw does the usual newbie poking around. You ask, "There's nothing in the trophy case?" lpsmith says (to jrw), "You can enter it." enter case You climb into the trophy case. Trophy Case A truly immense trophy case. You and several hundred treasures could never fill it. You can see: Object #3000 Award, trophy, ifMUD Anniversary Guestbook, Anniversary Notes, anniversary quotes, an old book Visible Exits: exit schep climbs in. x award Congratulations (belatedly) on reaching 3000 objects! Yay us! You say, "hi schep." schep says, "they never told me about this place." You ask, "You're on the 6th floor of edifice towers, right?" schep says (to jrw), "Yup, stop by anytime." ..schep I just moved into 6010, across from you. You say (to schep), "I just moved into 6010, across from you." Jarb climbs in. read award Congratulations (belatedly) on reaching 3000 objects! Yay us! read trophy 8 users at once! woo-hoo! read ifMUD Sign below with your thoughts and feelings on the MUD's 1st birthday: liza: After one year, you wouldn't believe the shipping bill. markm: It's been a blast so far. Can't wait to see what the next year will bring. Non-Sequitur: Fire up the ducks! Wanna know the new buzz-word for the coming year? It's 'ketchup'! mef: Yowza. Smoker: Cough! Wanna pull? Ventura: here's to another year of GETTING IT ON! Mrs.Robner: Thanks to all for a great place to come and hang out! Iris: Hello! Happy Anniversary! ketchup Not a valid command. Try typing help. read notes I don't see that here. schep climbs out. read Anniversary Notes Now that we have reached the age of one, you doubtlessly have many wise and profound things to write here. Spatch: never do @clean in the Adventurer's L* (or, Jota forbid, the closet.) Ventura: Make sure you know who's paying shipping in advance. ddyte: Blood pumper wronged? Dial 1-800-SHIPPING and let our monkey butlers deal crack to you. read quotes Sign here, please. snickers: Stiffy says, "hey I have never boinked rybread" LordKingJesterofMudMonkeyIsland: Where's that banana? Mrs.Robner: Have you seen Sergeant Duffy around here? DorianX: Crackpipe? What crackpipe? read an old book This book, an aging copy of that timeless fable "The Wizard of Oz," is in startlingly good condition, and features the original, classic illustrations. exit You climb back out. Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, aoeu, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Adam, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn, WeetaComp, liza, schep Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room [inky] Well, come on! Millions of years of survival and then bang! out like a light as soon as the Talking Chimp arrives. What do YOU think happened? Adam says, "We should figure out a way to make appending onto switch statements easier, though." You ask, "Now, who would guess the trophy case can be climbed into?" lpsmith says, "Adam is great! / He's a nice guy." finger inky Login name: inky In real life: Dan Shiovitz Location: lobby of inky's house Gender: Male Email address: dbs@cs.wisc.edu IF work: Lethe Flow Phoenix Currently logged in. Plan: "No, No! Don't make me go to my room where all my books are!" Adam says (to lp), "Eeeagh." liza says (to lpsmith), "Right. I was thinking of the instruments in the movie." inky materializes. PollBoy hollers, "inky has changed the poll! DILUTE! DILUTE! OK!!" Torbjorn asks (to jrw), "Dunno. How many points were you worth?" inky says, "yay" lpsmith says (to liza), "Yeah, I know." liza says (to lpsmith), "Right. Yes. Certainly." inky blinks. lpsmith asks (to liza), "So those were fake guesses?" Adam asks (to inky), "Hey there. Wanna write me a letter of recommendation?" jrw offers a blank look (to Torbjorn). liza says (to lpsmith), "Yes." lpsmith understands now. inky says (to Adam), "sure." liza says (to lpsmith), "Well, sorta. I had it in my head, but as it opens in the movie. Bagpipes and tuba." ..liza When was the IFMud's anniversary? You ask (to liza), "When was the IFMud's anniversary?" lpsmith shakes his sarcasmometer. Must be malfunctioning today. HairBrain asks, "Ooh! The pollster feature was just added?" liza says (to jrw), "June." inky says (to jrw), "june something, I think" HairBrain says, "Neatarooni." liza says (to HB), "'motd'" You say, "Interesting..." PollBoy hollers, "Spatch has changed the poll! I am the last of the reptilian rocketeers!" Torbjorn says (to jrw), "I take that as meaning you didn't get any points for putting yourself in the trophy case. Bummer." inky znrks. HairBrain laughs. ..torbjorn Aw man, now *I'm* bummed out, too. You say (to torbjorn), "Aw man, now *I'm* bummed out, too." HairBrain is still laughing. Like a maniac. jrw willomies like a mattress. n You step into the small closet. Small Closet This is a small, dark, musty closet used for storage. There's barely enough room to turn around. You can see: cash, Disclaimer for the ifMUD, chicken-comp, notice, real sign seen at Highway 90 onramp, Go mailing, narf, sign, world's best quotation, Luc French skoolz Adam and mef, 34 things I learned from video games, excerpt, Seven, Grocible's gone to Burning Man, the FUCK object, the fuck object (continued), TikiBoy's Adios Proclamation, Deathboat review by a 4-year-old, antsy colors, short film, The coolest book ever, funny exchange, New York Funny Exchange, EY, the FUCK update, sign for inky, picture of Skeptic, The Resort, Dogs-R-Us, What the FUCK?, Special Lifetime Achievement Award, raif's view of Ellison, Boren's Laws, chiropractor alpaca, Web-based ifMUD stuff (new!), TikiBoy's Address in Spain, proposed new funny animal, Games you don't hear much about, goth humor, markm's review of VTech, Most Visceral Joke award, Dr. Maeve Byrne-Crangle's intoxicating love potion, Eudora Pro bug, neild's IQ quiz, lemon lemmas, snapshots from markm's disney trip, But does it work flip-flop?, I am not attentive to 31337, @boot, Antipodean Tourist Board Flyer, ATN reviews new Shaquille O'Neal album, dictionary entry, knickers, knickers, knickers, knickers, Dictators-R-Us, typical exchange from BLACK PANTHER #1, first panel from BLACK PANTHER #1, alternation, LucFrench has been deleted, Ebert quote, flap-doodle, FFL, cloak of lurking Visible Exits: south read disclaimer Dear Mr. Starr or other interested parties, Many people say things on ifMUD that could be taken as illegal or subpoena-inducing. However, it tends to be tongue-in-cheek or otherwise sarcastic (especially the crack references). Therefore, please do not take anything seriously said on this mud by anyone who has "signed" this disclaimer. DGlasser: Me. Dilbon: I'll sign too. Ventura: I'm signing and so is my wife. Ellison: oh, wait, my bad... I thought this was a petition for bringing back "Who's the Boss?" ddyte: Does this mean I get free cable tv or something? HairBrain: I'll have an extra thick badger with strawberry juice, puh-leez. Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, aoeu, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Adam, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn, WeetaComp, liza, schep, inky Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room read reviews http://www.phy.duke.edu/~sgranade/reviews.html Jarb climbs out of the trophy case. You ask, "Is there any way to print a new_line while you're 'say'ing something?" inky says (to jrw), "no." HairBrain says, "At least not without using black magic." liza says, "I am a true geek. I just got pizza stains on my checkbook." Jarb says, "mine come with pizza stains" inky tries to work out a "check stains on pizza" joke and fails. Adam says, "Mmm, pizza. Okay, I need lunch and may or may not be back before going to work. Later." Adam has disconnected. Adam crosses the line between puppy love and apocalyptic scripture. Jarb sighs, "When will I win Adam's love and admiration?" MMm.. pizza.... Not a valid command. Try typing help. inky says, "kickin'." You say, "Mmmmm... pizza... " inky asks (to Jarb), "have you tried sending him flowers?" Jarb says (to inky), "not yet...." ex ne northeast;ne is owned by Spatch HairBrain says (to Jarb), "Also, n00d photos." Jarb exclaims (to HB), "I put nude photos of my daughter up, what more does he want!" @field me = connect: jrw appears in a puff of logic. Field set. HairBrain says, "True." @field me = disconnect: jrw vanishes in a puff of logic. Field set. ne Peeved Scientists' Laboratory Chains of all sizes hang incongruously from the vaulted stone ceiling of this damp basement room. Beakers and test tubes full of strange colored liquids bubble ominously on a large oak table. The walls are lined with an incredible array of large gray scientific-looking equipment, all sporting lots of nifty knobs, buttons, and oscilloscope screens. Of course, you haven't the faintest idea what any of the machines are for or how they work or even what they're doing here, but that's half the fun of the pursuit of Science. You can see: magnifying glass, beta, alpha, aleph, beth, turtle, yurtle, lounger Visible Exits: southwest x glass A mysterious magnifying glass with strange inherent magical properties. You see these all the time. Obvious Actions: glex * * glex Not a valid command. Try typing help. glex beta alpha [Jarb] Jarb points west and a beautiful sunset appears. He bows to all mud denizens, and walks off into the sunset, fading after a few moments. [Jarb] Jarb saunters onto the mud singing, "He Got Game" No such object/field. x beta You see nothing special. x alpha You see nothing special. x aleph You see nothing special. x beth You see nothing special. x lounger Random lounger: Jarb who User On Idle I am never the pollster. liza 41m32 00m32 I am FOR higher nudity rates. schep 22m10 06m21 Okay, no more cheese kurds. lpsmith 41m23 01m27 Up as a sun, down as a pancake. Spatch 41m25 03m11 really manly pumpkin pie markm 41m08 00m06 Only on alternate Tuesdays. Jarb 00m30 00m12 Sleeping. Torbjorn 31m14 08m22 this calm blank of the workstation intentionally DorianX 31m10 16m33 repeat till it's funny HairBrain 27m41 01m46 Mw¸rble. jrw 26m15 00m00 Feeling at home again. inky 11m22 00m29 Negative electricity for the grues Uptime: 41m42; pollster: your mom End of List. sw You amble back to the safety of the Lounge... for now. Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, aoeu, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn, WeetaComp, liza, schep, inky, Jarb Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room liza did no @booting. ex w west;w is owned by Adam Spatch says, "no @boot on this end" Specious Loby It's the most specious loby you've ever been in. It's so specious that you hardly even notice the 145-degree heat or the throngs of starving Bangladeshis blocking the entrance. You can see: Best Individual PC trophy, Best Game trophy, two, one, book, Adam Visible Exits: east x trophy It's roughly the size of your head, and just about as thick. read trophy It's roughly the size of your head, and just about as thick. x best individual pc trophy It's roughly the size of your head, and just about as thick. x two Jarbigruen says (to inky), "Oh I'm smart as shit." Jarbigruen says, "My dog is licking his peepee." ----- DGlasser says (to spatch), "That was a pretty ok movie. Except when caspar becomes alive and all the teenage girls in the theatre start falling in love with him." Jarbigruen asks (to DGlasser), "You want all the little honies for basement, right?" Jarbigruen high fives DGlasser and says, " My man!" ----- Jarbigruen asks (to inky), "You in Madison?" inky says (to Jarb), "yeah" Jarbigruen says (to inky), "Nice. I almost died at a frat party on Halloween in 1985 there." Jarbigruen says (to inky), "Well, I got really really really drunk on homemade Tequila." ----- Jarbigruen says (to inky), "Lot's of feminists in MadTown." ----- zarf says, "Anyway, the companies I was interested in were the ones that I could look at their products and say 'yes! working on this would be fun.' The ones that had pages of manager-speak got a response of 'this has no meaning. Goodbye.'" Jarbigruen asks (to zarf), "So I should advertise that the company has Cubs season tickets, free passes to Great America, a boat on Lake Michigan, and a table up front at the local strip club, ay?" ----- Jarbigruen says, "The ultrasound is next wednesday." Jarbigruen yells, "Show me the peepee!" ----- Jarbigruen says (to inky), "Gabrielle is a little cutey." ----- Jarbigruen says, "Always use a condom when you want a girl naked." Jarbigruen says, "Trojan makes sense, ya know, sneak in before and pop out and surprise the locals." ----- Jarbigruen says, "Wildthings. Soft-Porn. But pretty cool." Jarbigruen says (to nutty), "In a softporn, adolescent kind of way, yeah. My younger brother is 26 and I think he's still got a hard-on from it." Nutty asks (to Jar), "is it remotely a date movie?" Jarbigruen says (to nutty), "If your date can handle you being extremely aggresive afterwards and calling he Kelly once in awhile, yeah sure." ----- zarf says, "So, I shall watch B5, then go to Wunderland and see if I can manage to say two words to that girl who showed up last week, if she shows up this week." Jarbigruen hands zarf a 24pack of condoms. "Just in case" ----- Jarbigruen will miss the gathering Saturday. Can't miss the NFL draft! finger Jarbigruen Usage: finger player finger jarb Login name: Jarb In real life: David A. Cornelson Location: Drawing-room Of The Adventurer Gender: Male Email address: dcornelson@placet.com Cigar: Avo #9 IF work: The Town Dragon Currently logged in. Plan: Eat Pizza Game: The Town Dragon l Specious Loby It's the most specious loby you've ever been in. It's so specious that you hardly even notice the 145-degree heat or the throngs of starving Bangladeshis blocking the entrance. You can see: Best Individual PC trophy, Best Game trophy, two, one, book, Adam Visible Exits: east PollBoy hollers, "Jarb has changed the poll! Help me! I'm lost!" x one Jarbigruen checks Mike's egometer and burns his hands on it. Jarbigruen grovels at the feet of Mr. Berlyn. MikeBerlyn says, "Lost treasures sold many hundreds of thousands of units" Jarbigruen faints. Jarbigruen says, "Nice royalties." MikeBerlyn says, "Yeah, but I never received royaties on any Infocom game, then or now." Jarbigruen says, "oops" MikeBerlyn says, "Marc is... well... just not into it much anymore." Jarbigruen says (to mike), "Tell him to snap out of it. It's like John and Paul not talking for a decade." Jarbigruen says (to mike), "Visit the IF Library at http://www.placet.com/int-fiction/library, there is at least 100 authors listed there." Jarbigruen had to do the plug. Jarbigruen asks (to mike), "Dungeon got me into programming and now I own my own firm. Is that wacky or what?" Jarbigruen says, "Baseball, wrestling, debate team, math team, then coding. Very wierd." Jarbigruen points to "wrestler" on his resume. Ivan says, "Oh, yeah - not exactly a qualification for ME, but my dad is a fairly well known comic book artist, Dave Cockrum." Jarbigruen says (to ivan), "never heard of him" Jarbigruen thinks all of zarfs games are well-written. Not my type though. But I won't criticize. Don't believe in it. Jarbigruen asks (to mike), "Does ZIL still exist?" MikeBerlyn says, "Goc, worry not. As far as ZIL, it does, on some DEC 20/60 tape." Jarbigruen exclaims (to Mike), "You need to get that into the archive. NOW!" Jarbigruen says, "All we need is a sympathetic millionaire that will buy Infocom and give it to 'RAIFers'" Jarbigruen says, "But the name would be nice to have. Or maybe The New Infocom or Infocom Part Duex." Jarbigruen says, "I for one had my life's path changed drasticly by the introduction of Dungeon when I was in 11th grade. I would likely be a tobacco chewing, softball playing, fat-bellied grocery boy had it not been for Dungeon." [cody] feels more like David Hasselhoff every day. finger Ivan Login name: Ivan In real life: Ivan Cockrum Location: Ivan's Loft Gender: Male IF work: has some ugly proprietary format" Last login: 09/29/98 18:58:39 Plan: To make you feel silly for fingering me. Mail Ivan No such message number. Type "mail help" for help. mail help To check your mail, just type "mail". This will list all the messages in your mailbox. To read a specific message, type "mail <#>", where <#> is the number of the message. To delete a message from your mailbox, type "mail delete = <#>", where <#> is the number of the message. Please delete mail that you no longer need. To send mail to another player, type "mail Player = Subject : Message". Examples: mail mail 2 mail delete = 2 mail Jota = Mudmail : I love the new mail program you wrote! mail Ivan = Excuse me, I just read that Dave Cockrum is your father. He drew the cover of the first comic I ever bought (Hulk 206). Anyway, sorry, burst of fan-boy excitement. But, hey, shake your dad's hand for me or something, OK? --jrw Message sent. mail You have no mail. For help using mail, type "mail help". f Usage: finger player l Specious Loby It's the most specious loby you've ever been in. It's so specious that you hardly even notice the 145-degree heat or the throngs of starving Bangladeshis blocking the entrance. You can see: Best Individual PC trophy, Best Game trophy, two, one, book, Adam Visible Exits: east x book It's bound in human skin, with the word "NECRONOMICON" crossed out and the word "BIBLE" written underneath in magic marker. read book It's bound in human skin, with the word "NECRONOMICON" crossed out and the word "BIBLE" written underneath in magic marker. read adam He's a very responsible, mature, level-headed guy. It takes a lot to get him angry. He's in this environment where he's always running into maniacs and villains and people screaming out their names as they leap at him, firing rays and stuff. Carrying: slogans, go, og, a minute Adventurer's Lobotomy Glow-in-the-dark scalpels, ice picks and bone-saws stuck into the padded walls give this place a dim and, well, dim appearance. Slack-jawed adventurers are everywhere - knocking their bandaged heads into the furniture, shuffling along well-worn paths on the floor, gazing sightlessly at the trophy case in the corner. Seating is plentiful, if you don't mind the puddles of drool. A cuckoo's nest is to the north. Visible Exits: None x nest I don't see that here. enter case Not a valid command. Try typing help. x case I don't see that here. x trophy case I don't see that here. You can't go that way. exit Not a valid command. Try typing help. lounge Just chatting your life away, right? Drawing-room Of The Adventurer The candles on the walls covered of wood create a dark atmosphere comfortable. The designed programs by hand are recorded nearly every surface - the walls, the ceiling, the case trophy in the angle. The disposition of the places to seat is abundant. A small closet of memory is to the north. A note tacked to the wall reads, "Thanks Babelfish!" You can see: Birthday Calendar, Sadie CDs now available!, new Xyzzy award categories, hey there l*, person finder, World Map, Very preliminary Inform debugger written in Java, barometer, announcement from Jaybird, stock market report, 1-900-PARTY-MUD, What is MBTI/INTP?, raif FAQ accepted by *.answers people!, jaybird, DorianX, Sargent's Comp98 Reviews, Spatch, Whizzard, competition conversation, HairBrain, lpsmith, markm, Torbjorn, WeetaComp, liza, schep, inky, Jarb, cody, aoeu Visible Exits: east, north, down, northeast, west, south, northwest, southwest, up, southeast, baseball chat room, geek room inky says, "same compiler to produce html and non-html games" You say, "Hm, ended up in a dead end." aoeu asks, "How does the compiler know if you want html or non-html?" cody asks, "So, if I have the 2.2.6 runtime for the mac, can I play graphics-less versions of html games?" inky says, "it's just that if you tell the thing to print out a graphic, and it's the non-html runtime, the output printer will just filter out the code for "print graphic" instead of doing it" inky says (to cody), "yes." You say, "I believe so, yes." inky says (to aoeu), "it doesn't." jrw pedals hard to catch up with the conversation. markm reminds jrw to release the parking break. markm says, "brake" jrw goes skidd-d-d-d--d-d-d-d ERT! aoeu asks (to inky), "And so what if someone has greater than symbols in their non-html text adventure?" News man says, "Joke ruined due to typo! Film at 11!" cody asks, "And all the bugs have been corrected? objwords, delword, etc.?" aoeu says, "Er, less than symbols." markm says (to cody), "Yup. There are no more bugs." HairBrain asks (to markm), "The one marked 'conventional logic activator'?" cody says (to mark), "liar." markm laughs. x cody He's all smiles, except for that one frown two days ago. Carrying: an ounce of mack daddy f cody Login name: cody In real life: Cody Sandifer Location: Drawing-room Of The Adventurer Gender: Male Email address: sandifer@sunstroke.sdsu.edu Currently logged in. Plan: Not quite so fizzy. inky says (to aoeu), "it cries, I think." markm says (to cody), "I'm looking forward to your comp game, btw. If it's half as good as last year's, I'm gonna laugh my ass off." ex liza liza is owned by liza cody says (to mark), "Well....we'll see." markm says, "And if it's not, buddy, you're in trouble." cody says, "It's a different kind of game this year." markm says (to liza), "Damn straight." cody says "it's 'Ginger Mouse and the Snugglebunnies' .. played straight." cody says, "Last year I explored humor. This year I explore angst." You ask, "Who's paying for the ifcompetition.org domain name?" cody explored lp with the back of his hand. Smack! inky asks (to lpsmith), ""In The Beginning", that would be?" markm laughs. inky says, "Matt Kimball, looks like" You say, "Hm, 5:1 ratio of Inform:TADS games this year..." inky says, "http://www.now-zen.com/affirmation.html" markm says (to jrw), "Salt the wounds, buddy. Salt the wounds." cody asks (to jrw), "Where's the final count?" inky says (to cody), "5,362 to 1." cody hees. You say, "I looked on grenade's review page (see sargent's note here)" cody says, "but that one game is 4000 mb." lpsmith says (to cody), "http://www.retina.net/~ddyte/entrants.html" You say, "I'm one of the four TADS entrants." aoeu says (to cody), "htmltads, no doubt." You say, "But I'm already jumping ship for the tugboat Inform." You say, "Nope..." cody says (to jrw), "Right. I remember you asking about code on rec.arts." inky asks, "tugboat?" You say, "That's me." lpsmith exclaims (to jrw), "Oh! Didn't realize that. Hi!" jrw smirks. You exclaim, "Hi!" You say, "I've been posting a lot in the past two months." You say, "And as of today, I came here..." jrw says, "About 50 posts a day." Jarb says, "I'm creating the next IF language...you'll be using it in no time" schep asks (to aoeu), "Gonna add jrw to your directory?" inky | It seems that last night inky | (9/23/98) Virginia executed yet another prisoner, and for the first time inky | in four years, the electric chair was used (at the request of the inky | prisoner). One of the media witnesses, a Terry Scanlon of the Lynchburg inky | News & Observer, talking about the prisoner in his last moments, is inky | quoted as saying that the condemned "...didn't show any resistance." You say, "I had plans for using ... AWK! Don't do that." inky says, "sorry." f aoeu Login name: aoeu In real life: Riva Eboregfba Location: Drawing-room Of The Adventurer Gender: Hermaphrodite Email address: ecr+@andrew.cmu.edu Currently logged in. Plan: @move("%#", "14") aoeu says (to schep), "Done." liza exclaims (to inky), "Hee!" jrw collects himself and says, "I had plans for using htmltads, but without the Mac version I couldn't really do it. Plus, debugging took a lot longer than I expected. This message intentionally left blank. HairBrain says, "'As you are falling asleep and waking up, your brain is naturally in the Alpha State'... excuse me? I thought alpha was the highest degree of waking, whereas sleeping was theta and dem deep-end greek letters." You say, "." You say, "Ok, now what." cody asks, "what's a dilly?" liza says (to HB), "I should know this, but I forget." Jarb goes weetashopping Jarb has disconnected. Jarb goes home. [Jarb] Jarb points west and a beautiful sunset appears. He bows to all mud denizens, and walks off into the sunset, fading after a few moments. markm says, "A dilly is a remarkable person or thing." inky says, "http://www.now-zen.com/zenclock.html is getting good reviews from this guy I know" inky says, "also it's a kind of pickly" cody says, "Oh my god. 'Mother Loose'? Gotta be that bj guy." You ask, "Isn't 'alpha is the highest degree of waking' implied by 'as you are falling asleep or waking up'?" who User On Idle WeetaComp - It's goood... liza 01h03 01m53 I am FOR higher nudity rates. schep 43m41 03m04 Okay, no more cheese kurds. lpsmith 01h02 04m30 Up as a sun, down as a pancake. Spatch 01h02 14m17 really manly pumpkin pie markm 01h02 01m15 Only on alternate Tuesdays. aoeu 18m04 03m07 It is 'it' actually. Torbjorn 52m45 29m53 this calm blank of the workstation intentionally DorianX 52m41 15m18 repeat till it's funny HairBrain 49m12 00m38 Mw¸rble. jrw 47m46 00m00 Feeling at home again. inky 32m53 01m05 Negative electricity for the grues cody 18m23 00m16 Adult arcade-o-rama. C U there! Uptime: 01h03; pollster: Jarb End of List. HairBrain says, "Hmmm" HairBrain asks, "Um?" schep says, "except that would usually be an in between state. Like that of chemistry class." markm says, "Whoa. dytie took away the authors list & replaced it with a game title list." OH, wait. mamster enters, enthusiastically enraptured by the ensuing entropy. Whatever that means. Not a valid command. Try typing help. mamster asks, "Are comp games out already?" You say, "Oh, I see what you're saying." inky says, "no" markm says (to mamster), "The names are." You say, "Waking state. Not sleeping state." mamster says, "Ah." markm says, "http://www.retina.net/~ddyte/entrants.html" liza says (to mamster), "Hey there compy." cody asks, "Personally, all I ever judge is the title anyway. Who needs playability?" You say, "I meant, 'alpha is the highest degree of waking (in terms of being asleep)', which is not what you meant." aoeu says, "I am a finite state machine. I have a sleeping state, an ifMUDing state, and a zombie state." liza says (to cody), "'x sargent's'" mamster says, "I'm reading that now." schep says (to jrw), "There's some weird state where you think you're completely awake, but your brain doesn't process a thing." markm says (to schep), "It's called "Being stoned." You say, "Reading newsgroups." HairBrain laughs. mamster says, "Something wacky has happened." HairBrain asks (to mams), "You've logged on?" schep says, "It comes right before the head-jerking part I think." mamster says (to HB), "THat too." mamster asks, "Y'all have heard of my friend Ryan, right?" markm says (to mamster), "I have now." mamster says, "Ryan is famous for doing whatever he possibly can to avoid work." cody hopes Research Dig is an unauthorized text adaptatin of the Lucasarts game. cody exclaims, "You see a huge graphic! It's really big!" mamster says, "Ryan is my best friend from college; we used to be in a band together." mamster says, "He's the other half of Meat Midgets." markm says, "Oh, right." mamster says, "So I guess we're still in a band together." mamster says, "Now, on to the story." inky asks (to mamster), "have we already made the "is he the meat or the midget?" joke?" mamster says (to inky), "Yes." mamster says, "A while back, Ryan FTPed me this five-minute cartoon he and his friend John made." mamster says, "It was called Yar Mart. It was outrageously funny, if obviously South Park inspired." Spatch says (to mamster), "I found a Flash cartoon about Bob Dole. Obviously Terry Gilliam inspired but very funny" mamster says, "I kept bugging him for Yar Mart II, but the first one took months and he was busy and lazy and stuff." liza says (to mamster), "Also, yay story." liza says (to inky), "I forwarded the Zen clock URL to our two always-late employees." mamster says, "I just got email from him saying he and John have been hired by an Australian web/multimedia company (http://www.spike.com.au) to *direct*, full time, a *team* of programmers/artists/developers to produce additional Yar Mart cartoons." liza says (to mamster), "That rules." inky says, "whoah." HairBrain's eyes nearly pop out. markm says (to mamster), "Whoa. Rock." markm looks for Yar Mart in his TV Guide. markm says (to mamster), "Actually, you probably should warn dd about it." mamster says, "This was only somewhat unexpected, though; when you have as many good ideas as Ryan does, something's gotta come your way." mamster says (to markm), "Will do. I was hoping I'd find him here, but I suppose he's busy." markm says, "Yeah. Yay comp, and all that." ..liza Wow, your home page on the web looks really sharp. You say (to liza), "Wow, your home page on the web looks really sharp." mamster says, "Also, the first Yar Mart cartoon featured a Meat Midgets soundtrack. Maybe I could be on this team." liza exclaims (to jrw), "Hey, thanks!" markm asks (to mamster), "Is Ryan moving to Oz for this?" mamster says (to markm), "No, but he may have to move back to L.A." markm says, "Well, I guess there had to be a down side." markm asks (to mamster), "So what's Yar Mart about? Four sharp-tongued teenagers in a mountain town in California?" mamster says (to markm), "It's about a couple of guys who work in a convenience store." markm asks, "Clerks, eh?" mamster says, "Yeah." inky says, "hmm" mamster says, "Funnier." liza says, "Dammit, this is pissing me off. Really old friend only sends me forwarded crap and never any personal mail. Finally he sends me something that isn't a forward. It turns out to be a test message he used while showing someone else how to use an email address book." inky says, "they're going to be starting women's cricket." markm asks, "Funnier than clerks?!?" markm says (to liza), "I say dump him." liza says, "I'm going to start sending him 10M core dumps. Timing, sorta." mamster says (to liza), "Kick his ass." mamster says (to markm), "Yar Mart was so funny, it almost killed me." markm asks (to inky), "In the states?" markm says (to mamster), "That's quite an endorsement." liza asks (to mamster), "Do you still have it?" inky says (to markm), "no, in england. I guess." markm says (to inky), "Dang." markm says (to mams), "What liza said." liza says, "I never knew there wasn't women's cricket." mamster says (to liza), "Stupidly, no--I accidentally deleted it while doing HD cleanup, and Ryan, curse his lazy ass, still hasn't sent me a new copy." inky says (to liza), "me neither" liza says (to mamster), "I'll CC: him in the core dump enterprise." mamster says, "Core Dump Enterprises, Inc." x lpsmith Lucian has the calm demeanor of someone who has no idea what is going on, but is good at faking it. Carrying: ticket, Best Individual Puzzle trophy, Best Puzzles trophy, Best implementation of the verb WAYLAY-award, Administration Dude outfit liza says (to mamster), "If we hadn't settled on 'Port 4000', 'Core Dump Records' would've worked." mamster says (to liza), "I believe there is a Core Dump Records." mamster says, "In fact, I'm positive." liza says (to mamster), "Woah." mamster says, "Lemme Yahoo it." markm starts Segmentation Fault Recording, Inc. aoeu asks (to liza), "What program do you run to get 10 MB core dumps? Netscape?" mamster says, "Oh, duh." mamster says, "Core Dump records is run by a loud-fan." liza exclaims (to mamster), "Ha!" liza says (to aoeu), "Oh, I have no idea." mamster says, "In fact, he coproduced the last Scott album." mamster says, "He works at Digidesign." liza says (to mamster), "Yay Sound Tools." mamster asks (to liza), "Pro Tools?" liza says, "Whatever." mamster laughs. liza says, "Digidesign Stone Tools" mamster laughs loudly. liza says, "Useful Mixer" mamster says (to liza), "I just downloaded Digidesign Potsherd 2.0." liza gives funnier joke prize to mamster. cody says, "Hey -- did anyone finish barometer without clues? Just wondering, as a tester." inky says, "I needed hints for two of them" liza says (to cody), "No way, but that's because I didn't know the story. Once I did, I had no problem." liza says (to cody), "I ran into some heinous bugs, though." cody says, "Ouch." inky says (to cody), "YOUR FAULT" liza says, "The usual rope stuff." mamster says, "I played barometer until I got the joke, laughed hard, and quit." cody takes all blame. mamster says, "OK, I'm going to Kips Bay." liza says, "Actually, I lie. lpsmith had to tell me what the last one was. Turns out it was the 'right' one." inky says, "that sounds naughty" inky says, "but bye" liza waves. mamster says, "Which sounds interesting, but it's just a library."