print "^^^At last, your troubled fortunes seemed to come to an end. It all happened very quickly: the callback from Red Hat, the bizarre interview with Gary Frick, the handshake, the filling out of W-2 forms, and then your first day of work.^ ^You thought maybe your experience writing Interactive Fiction games (sixteenth place in the last IF Comp, a good improvement from 33rd place the year before that) had finally landed you a programming job. But no, you seemed to qualify only for menial clerical work. You took it. What else could you do? Sigh. ^"; ! Rest of story text [ RestOfStoryText; "Peter says, ~Okay, but first things first. Can you meet me after work up in the file room? I really want to show you something.~^^ Valerie says, ~It's against my better judgment, but all right.~^^ Little do they suspect that Melvin, nearby, is spying on them and making plans of his own. Even littler do they suspect that Melvin is not what he seems... ^^ Around the Corner (as ~Melvin~) SCANNING cubicle_space(3,1,15): TERRAN_LIFEFORM targets(2): ^ RECOGNIZE: ID(696095)[~Peter Danielson Feeney~] dETAIL_LIST New unit Problem report: DANGEROUS (watchflag) Problem report: ATTITUDE Resistant to authority. CONVERSE_MODE(shy,servile); RECOGNIZE: ID(344904)[~Valerie Ann Michelle Conrad~] Problem report: ATTITUDE Responds to authority. CONVERSE_MODE(extrovert,lecherous); SOUNDSCAN targets(344904,696095): Process... Process... 696095: << Go FileRoom >> << Show 344904 OBJ_ID(0001001)[##Portal] >> 344904: << accept order Go >> ANALYSIS: TERMINATE Action << Show >> #ifSucc << EXECUTE ORDER_ID(904)[##CoverUp] >> #else << TERMINATE ID(696095) >> NEXTACT: [1] FOLLOW [2] WAIT [3] KILL Later that evening... File Room (as Peter) The file room is one of your favorite rooms in the company building. One, it's always orderly and clean; and two, it doesn't sport brightly colored IKEA furniture. It's businesslike and efficient. There's even a window to give the area a sense of openness. Peter is standing here, pacing, when you arrive. ~What took you? Didn't we say 6:30?~ Peter asks. ~Sorry, I had to ditch Melvin. It's like he was trying to intercept me.~ ~Melvin? Really?~ Peter says, looking worried. ~I was wondering who put the file cabinet back.~ ~Okay, so show me this amazing file cabinet of yours. I'm starving.~ Peter says, ~Here's what you do. Go to file cabinet Y-Z and try to open it.~ You try to open the cabinet, but it seems to be stuck shut. ~It's stuck,~ you say. ~Give it a good pull,~ says Peter. You yank on the drawer, and it flies clean out of the cabinet, sending you spilling backwards. Loose folders slide out in a snaky line sideways across the floor, emptying their contents in all directions. ~Egad!~ yells Peter. ~That didn't happen last time!~ ~Well, it did this time. Help me clean up the papers.~ As you both lean down to clean up the papers, you see a pair of shoes enter the room from the darkened hallway. Perched in the shoes is a pair of stilts. Balanced on the stilts is a kind of potato head with Melvin's face on it. In other words, Melvin is standing here. ~Do you two want to tell me what you're doing here?~ Melvin says. ~No,~ says Peter. ~Not really,~ says Valerie. Melvin says, ~Why don't you two put things back where you found them and I won't have to report this?~ ~Okay, Melvin,~ says Peter. ~Sorry,~ says Valerie. Melvin watches as you clean up the papers. Melvin watches as you exit the building. You walk a safe distance away. ~Well, that was weird. I've never seen Melvin act like that,~ Peter says. ~Really? He's always seemed a sort of a creep to me.~ - ~Is there any way we can sneak back in, do you think?~ ~Really?~ asks Peter. ~Yeah. Now I'm curious. If Melvin hadn't showed up like that, I wouldn't have believed you really found something. Now I want to see what it is.~ ~Won't Melvin be watching?~ ~He can't sit there all night. He has to go home at some point, right?~ ~Should we go to dinner first?~ ~Nah. Let's just go for it. Come on. Melvin doesn't really have any authority over me, anyway.~ ~Excellent.~ File Room "The file room is one of your favorite rooms in the company building. One, it's always orderly and clean; and two, it doesn't sport brightly colored IKEA furniture. It's businesslike and efficient. There's even a window to give the area a sense of openness. Early moonlight peaks in, drawing a long amber trapezoid on the carpet. ", Peter says, ~Okay, I don't see him. Be careful this time. Pull the cabinet, not the drawer.~ The cabinet moves aside to reveal a strange little door in the wall. ~Whoa.~ ~Go on in. It's safe. If all goes well, I'll meet you by the hedge in a few minutes.~ ~Which hedge? How will I find you?~ ~Trust me on this one,~ says Peter. You enter the little door. Weird Tunnel ! global.trip_number = 2; Apartment Kitchen (in someone's head) Weird! You really are inside someone's head! Out through their eyes you can see that they're starting to make dinner. [recipe and stuff] zarf says, "Also, grated orange peel in sour-cream scones. Tasty. Add lots of cinnamon." zarf sits down. zarf says, "So, you chop two large white onions and saute them in olive oil." zarf says, "Saute them for about 45 minutes. Really. A *long* time. They'll turn brown." zarf says, "Then add a cup of white wine, and simmer for a few more minutes." zarf says, "A cup of blue cheese or Gorgonzola. But really squishy stuff, not try." zarf says, "Er, 'dry'." zarf says, "Let that melt, and serve immediately over pasta. Sprinkle on walknnute." zarf says, "Walnuts. Sorry. Got excited there." zarf says, "And you'd better remember al lthat, because it's the solution to the endgame puzzle in next year's game. Good night!" [zarf daemon] Inside their head, you see flashes of light and hear the weirdest noises. Each time there is a flash, you notice a shadow nearby that never seems to brighten. The shadow falls in a diagonal slant, and a sensation comes from it, but you are unable to tell whether it is warmth or cold. You touch the shadow, and move deeper inside the brain. Inside the Brain The noise is really loud here, and there is more to see. Tunnels lead to various places, but without a compass or a way to mark your trail, you sense that you could easily get lost. Strange symbolic objects lie here. You see a control panel. The control panel requires identification. [Enter thief] --glaring light... GlaringLight(); ^^^Suddenly, you are falling, but all you see are slashes of yellow light and dark green shapes. One of the largest shapes, with a dimple in the center, moves towards you quickly. As it nears, you feel a sense of time slowing, and your eyes catch the details. It is a large hedge, and the dimple is a crushed spot roughly the size of Peter's body. You hope he flattened most of the sharpest branches when he landed...^ PlayerTo( Hedge2 ); rtrue; Campus (as Peter) The northwest edge of the corporate campus. A decorated line of hedges hidden by a corner of stately trees, with leaves that gently whisper in the evening wind. Valerie plummets into the big hedge with an unladylike ka-thump-krickle. You help Valerie out of the hedge. ~Wow!~ she says. ~That was really intense. So, who is that guy?~ ~Zarf. He works here.~ ~Oh. Oh! Yeah. I know that guy. I meant the *other* guy.~ ~What other guy?~ ~The one back in the brain.~ ~Wait, you went farther back in the brain? How'd you do that?~ ~Didn't you see the shadow?~ ~Um. No.~ ~You ought to go and try it, then.~ ~Yeah! No. Yeah. No.~ ~You need to be more decisive.~ ~Let's eat first. When I put the file cabinet back and came out here, I had the feeling Melvin was watching the back of my head.~ ~Dinner, then?~ ~Yeah.~ ~So, what do you do?~ ~I write text adventure games.~ ~Check, please.~ ~No, really. It's this new medium called Interactive Fiction. It's really cool. That guy Zarf? He's the master, man. You should play some of his stuff.~ ~What's so great about interactive fiction?~ ~It's kind of hard to explain to someone who's never heard of it before. Me, I like writing it. Playing it is kind of dumb. It's always too hard. It was originally based on puzzles.~ ~Puzzles? Like what? Jump the pegs to leave only one left?~ ~Eeeagh! No! Well, yes. But that's a terrible example. I mean like: find the gold key, to open the door. Find the magic sword to kill the ogre.~ ~Hmm. How about, find the object to activate the control panel?~ ~Could be, yeah.~ ~What about a sneaky thief guy? How would you get past him?~ ~!!~ ~I've never seen anyone pronounce an exclamation point before. How'd you do that?~ ~That's the thief from Zork! He must be some sort of symbolic internal defense mechanism. Or something. You didn't see an elven sword of antiquity in there, maybe glowing blue?~ ~No, but there was a trophy case.~ ~And there was a control panel? Maybe if we activated that, we could control Zarf.~ ~Is that a responsible thing to do?~ ~No, but it sounds kind of fun, doesn't it?~ ~Sure, I guess. What do you think we'd need to prove to Zarf's internal control unit that we were Zarf?~ ~A picture of him, maybe?~ ~Do you have one?~ ~No. Yes! In the file cabinet! There was a photo of him in the file!~ ~Well, let's go back and get it.~ ~Now you're talking.~ File Room This bleak room with its short, slumping ceiling looks disconcertingly eerie at night. The army of stupid file cabinet robots looks ready to spring to life at any moment. The one measly window lets in a tiny rectangle of moonlight. ~Should we turn the lights on?~ Valerie asks. ~I don't want to attract any attention, but since we don't have a flashlight I guess the answer is yes.~ Valerie turns on the lights, bathing the room in fluorescent ickiness that makes you squint. You open the Y-Z cabinet. You search the Y-Z cabinet, and locate the Zarf:Classified file. You take the blurry photograph of Zarf. ~Well, good luck,~ says Valerie. ~Why don't we both go?~ ~Will that work?~ ~Sure. Why not?~ You pull aside the cabinet, revealing the small door. Weird Tunnel Zarf's Apartment (in Zarf's head) Zarf seems at first to be in a library, but on second glance, he's just at home but owns a *lot* of books. Several thousand of them, by the looks of it. He is holding a bar code scanner and is scanning the ISBN numbers of books from a tall stack, one at a time, into his computer. Inside of Zarf's head, you see flashes of light and hear weird noises. A shadow slashes diagonally, refusing the light. ~Okay, I'll stay here,~ says Valerie. ~Try to get that panel activated. I'll holler if I see anything happen.~ You touch the shadow, and feel a chill go through your bones. ~I think he felt that,~ yells Valerie. Inside Zarf's Brain The noise is really loud here, and there is more to see. Tunnels lead to various places, but without a compass or a way to mark your trail, you sense that you could easily get lost. Strange symbolic objects lie here. You see a control panel. The control panel requires identification. [Enter thief] You put the blurry photo on the glass panel. A dull glow issues from the panel, and then a microphone telescopes up from a previously invisible opening. The thief moves back into the darkness and vanishes. Valerie yells, ~Is it working? He's looking around like he knows someone is messing with him.~ ~What should I try?~ you ask. ~Try making him drop the book he's holding.~ Valerie yells, ~Yay! He dropped the book! Uh oh, I think he's pissed.~ A violent red light pulses through the inside of the brain. Valerie enters, looking spooked. ~What do we do now?~ ~I dunno. Usually the trip ends by this point.~ ~What if we get stuck here?~ [Enter thief] ~Who are you two?~ he demands. ~Run!~ ~Which way?~ ~Any way!~ Dead end A helix of light hangs in the air, twirling, changing colors. If you were stoned, it could mesmerize you for hours, you suspect. A continuous, semi-randomly-generated helix of whirling colors. it's one of the more hypnotic things I've ever seen in my life. It's a three-dimensional helix of particles... and they move and spin and change color and zig back and forth, all at once, but sequentially. Changes start at one end of the line and ripple to the other end. It is beautiful. If you start it up, people slowly gather around and stare at your screen until the room is full. If you don't shut it down, I think you starve to death. The thief enters, his stiletto blade extended. ~You two don't belong here,~ he says. ~And I believe you have something of mine.~ ~We're trapped!~ yells Valerie. ~Help!~ you yell. ~Hel--~ --glaring light... Hedge Campus ~Okay, that was freaky,~ says Valerie. ~Yeah, let's call it a night.~ ~Oh come on. This is getting fun. This is my kind of Interactive Fiction!~ ~More like interactive reality. Oh, damn. Where is it? I've lost the photo.~ ~Maybe you dropped it when we fell. Look in the hedge.~ There's nothing in the hedge. ~It's not there. I bet the thief took it. That means the show's over.~ ~Do you think we should tell Zarf about this?~ ~Hmm. Maybe it's better if he doesn't know.~ ~I don't know about that. If it were your head, wouldn't you want to know that people were hacking into it?~ ~Good point. Okay, we'll tell him first thing tomorrow.~ ~Agreed.~ ~Agreed.~ ~Can I walk you to your car?~ ~You can limp me there. I think I twisted my ankle.~ ~I can carry you, if you want.~ ~Ooh. The last of the gallant gentlemen. No thanks, I'm tough.~ Peter carries Valerie to her car, trying desperately not to huff and sweat and collapse. Early the next morning, Zarf wakes and takes a long walk to work, trying to blow off some steam. It doesn't help. Zarf's Desk (as Zarf) You are *pissed*. Someone's been messing with you, and you know exactly who it was. *How* they did it, you don't know, but that's the first thing on your mind this morning. Find evil scum, tell evil scum off. Then, get some work done. On the computer is a MUD window. You are logged onto ifMUD. Sargent says (to Zarf), "Hey." inky says, "hi Z" Iain says, "Hullo." You say, "grnn. Not happy." Rob says (to Iain), "that's what I thought until recently" Iain says (to Rob), "Oh?" Sargent says (to Zarf), "What's up?" inky says, "erm?" You say, "Details not important. I have a mission to destroy evil scum." Sargent says, "Ugly buildup in the bathtub?" inky says, "probably some sort of foaming cleanser is in order" Rob says, "bleach and a stiff brush will take care of that" Adam says, "You coul-- Damn it." Sargent says, "HA ha." Emily groans. Suddenly, Evil Scum are here. You recognize one of them only from a vivid mental snapshot that appeared yesterday morning. You recognize the other from seeing her around once or twice. You are not pleased to see either of them, although it saves you the trouble of hunting them down. ~Um, hi Mr. Plotkin,~ says the first. ~I'm Valerie Conrad, and this is Peter Feeney,~ says the other. ~We came to tell you about -- something weird that we discovered.~ ~It's a portal into your head,~ says Valerie, which doesn't make any logical sense, but it does explain things, if it's true. And you decided to take not just one trip, but three? Thanks a *lot*. ~Sorry about that. It was just ordinary curiosity at first.~ ~Perfectly natural.~ There's nothing natural or ordinary about it. Where is this portal? ~In the file room.~ Take me there. Now. ~Well, okay.~ File Room The file room is an unimpressive rectangular room full of squat cabinets. The file cabinets are a pale yellow, like raw milk, and each stands about 38 inches high. There is a maladjusted ceiling tile, and scruffy stains on the padded carpeting. In the north wall is a window, about 2 and a half foot square, with a crank latch. A copier machine sits near the wall, bearing no make or marking that you recognize, even though no company produces generic photocopiers that you know of. Even more curiously, there the wall socket behind it is empty, meaning that the copier is not plugged in, and yet it definitely seems to be turned on. Peter pulls the second cabinet from the end away from the wall, revealing a portal fashioned from a slat of aged cedar. Ornate brass hinges, possibly hand-crafted, clamp the door securely to the wall. Beyond being bizarre, it is curiously anachronistic. The portal itself antedates this building by at least a century and a half, in your estimation. ~This is it,~ says Peter. ~I don't know what would happen if you went through it, though.~ The door swings easily on its hinges, which have been recently oiled. Someone is evidently its caretaker, but it is beyond your ability to guess whom. A voice shouts, ~STOP!~ It is an odd voice, an peculiar-sounding shout. It sounds less like a voice yelling and more like a normal voice mechanically amplified. ~Melvin!~ shouts Peter. "This ~Melvin~ bears no resemblance to any human being, living or dead. The ersatz flesh on his disjointed skeleton is a remarkable elastic, tinted with some care to mimic caucasian melanin. Under the fluorescent light, it reflects slightly too much green, and it wrinkles unnaturally at limb joints. More care has been taken in the face, allowing for a range of facial expressions. Currently, the expression is one of intended menace. "; ~You leave me no choice but to terminate you,~ says Melvin. He goes to the copier and punches a sequence of numbers on the button panel. A strange shuddering vibration pulses through the room, from back to front. ~The file cabinets!~ yells Peter. ~They're moving!~ The file cabinets are growing taller. Beneath each, a small footpad is extending, and the cabinet bodies are rising on stalks. A single cycloptic ruby eye irises open on the face of each. ~Well what the heck. It *is* a stupid robot army!~ ~Go in, quick!~ Valerie orders you. ~Go! We'll hold him off!~ Peter shouts, bravely. ~I think.~ Weird Tunnel Inside Zarf (Inside Zarf (Inside Zarf (In yourself)))) Recursion has always been one of your favorite tools, but you know far too well that if it doesn't hit an escape clause, it will recur until the stack overflows and the system crashes. Inside Zarf (Inside Zarf (Inside Zarf (Inside Zarf (In yourself))))) Recursion has always been one of your favorite tools, but you know far too well that if it doesn't return a value, it will recur until the stack overflows and the system crashes. RETURN. G.G.G.G.G.G.G. You return the last value, and a shadow falls over you. Touching it, you fall inward. Meanwhile, a few turns ago... File Room (as Peter) The situation has gone from bad to worse, here. The army of mutant little file cabinet robots has herded you and Valerie back against the north wall. The window is behind you. Melvin is across the room, working controls on the copier, which has opened up to reveal some sort of pulsating machine innards. Valerie says, ~What do we do?~ We go out the window. We attack Melvin. We make a break for the portal. We do like Captain Kirk, and incapacitate Melvin with logic. ~But there's no hedge underneath the window. We'll break our necks.~ Good point. ~Attack Melvin? How?~ We leap over the cabinets. You punch Melvin in the face, and I'll destroy that funky machine. ~How are we going to make it all the way to the portal?~ I'll pick up one of the cabinets and throw it at Melvin. You should go for it. Then I'll figure out some way of getting in there myself. Valerie gives you a kiss. ~For good luck,~ she says as the heroic music swells. LISTEN TO MUSIC It's a sort of John Williamsy fanfare, which telegraphs the fact that you're going to make it out of this. You pick up the nearest file cabinet. The stupid robot starts making a pathetic squealing noise. ~Hey! Put him down this instant!~ shrieks Melvin. Here's mud in your eye, sucker! It's clobberin' time! Hasta la vista, bubbala! You remember when I said I'd kill you last? I lied! Valerie makes a gymnastic diving roll over the sinister little cabinets and disappears into the portal. You fling the little metallic beast at Melvin, but your aim is terrible. Fortunately, you lobbed it so far to the side that it goes smashing into the pulsating copier machine brain thingy, emitting a terrific shower of sparks. As you might expect, Melvin shouts, ~Noooooooooooo!~ as the little army of stupid robots topples over en masse, vomiting their paper folder guts all over the place. You leap for the portal. Weird Tunnel You hear Melvin scream, ~You can't get away from *ME*!~ Inside Zarf's Brain The noise is really loud here, and there is more to see. Tunnels lead to various places, but without a compass or a way to mark your trail, you sense that you could easily get lost. Strange symbolic objects lie here. Zarf is here. Valerie is here. ~You made it!~ says Valerie. ~Yeah,~ you say, ~But Melvin's right on my tail.~ Zarf seems calm and sagelike. ~It's okay. I know my way around, and I have a plan.~ There is a sound like a vacuum implosion, and a flash of light. Melvin tumbles into view, holding some sort of ray gun. ~He's got a gun!~ shouts Valerie. Zarf says, ~Follow me, please.~ Zarf leaves to the northwest. Melvin fires the ray gun, which emits a sizzling noise and a bright stripe of electric blue laser light. ~EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!~ he screams. The two of you narrowly dodge the beam and follow Zarf down the tunnel. Tunnels (as Peter and Valerie) The Caves A huge cavern rises above you. The far reaches are lost in shadow mist, and the vaults above fade into a darkness pierced with long columns of stone. Chill water drips and pools in broken declivities. You can hear little else. Rough stone steps lead up and out. A large and detailed map in incised on a boulder in the center of the cavern. (But then, would you be down here if you weren't keen to explore on your own?) Gloomy side chambers stretch off in many directions. You can make out GAMES to the north, PROGRAMMING to the northeast, WRITING to the south, ART AND CRAFT to the east, TOYS to the west, and MISCELLANEA down a shallow pit to the northwest. To one side you see a little twisting passage. Tied to your left forefinger is a brief explanatory note. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Zarfhome (map) The Caves: StonerView You are in a small cave. A wide chimney ascends towards StonerView. A river of smoke-grey travertine flows down one wall of the chamber. Luminous runes glitter on the stone underfoot... Pale fungi gleam in phosphorescence somewhere above. [tunnel desc] Zarf says, ~We're going to need a few things. Try to keep up.~ Zarf walks through the west wall. Vivid gold light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the west wall. You hear Melvin close behind you. HUNTER, IN DARKNESS ROOM Zarf says, ~Take the crossbow.~ Peter takes the crossbow. Zarf walks down through the floor. Bright crimson light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the floor. Behind you, Melvin shouts, ~I smell a wumpus! HA HA HA HA HA!~ A CHANGE IN THE WEATHER ROOM Small Cave You are in a dark pocket, a stony crack below the summit of the hill. It is not quite high enough to stand in, but surprisingly long, narrowing only slowly towards the back. The entrance is a circle of blinding crimson to the west, partially obscured by the boulder. An ancient and filthy blanket is crumpled against one wall of the cave. >x blanket It's a ratty old blanket, torn and mouse-chewed, tangled with bits of twig and old leaves. Nonetheless, it looks warm. Zarf says, ~Take the blanket.~ Valerie takes the blanket. Zarf walks through the northwest wall. Pale green light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the northwest wall. Melvin is close behind. INHUMANE ROOM Storage Tent This is where the party kept all its supplies. However Roboff seems to have cleaned everything out that was of any use. Several arrows of Da-Glo paint on the wall attract your attention to the empty food and water chests. Lying on the ground is a brass torch of the "self-igniting" type. The ignite button is on the handle. There is a shovel lying here. >get torch Taken. >get shovel Taken. >x shovel You see nothing interesting about the shovel. >x arrows You can't see any such thing. >x chests That's not something you need to refer to in the course of this game. Zarf says, ~Take the shovel.~ Peter takes the shovel. Zarf says, ~Okay, we need to take a slight detour.~ Zarf walks up through the ceiling. Saturated amber light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the ceiling. Melvin hollers, ~Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!~ You hear his ray gun blast again. Tunnels Zarf says, ~Fortunately, these tunnels lead everywhere. Come along.~ Zarf walks through the south wall. Pure magenta light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the south wall. Melvin is one step behind you. SPELLBREAKER ROOM In Roc Nest This nest is made from skillfully woven tree trunks, small bushes, and large amounts of mud and roc guano for glue. Giant black feathers are everywhere. In the center of the nest is an egg the size of a small wagon. Nestled beneath the egg is a featureless white cube. The roc perches on the side of the nest, watching you intently. There is a stained scroll here. >examine egg It looks like it's going to hatch soon. >examine cube This is a featureless white cube. >take cube The roc, convinced you are threatening its precious egg, drives you away before you can snatch the cube. >examine roc The roc is a huge raptor and resembles an eagle. >examine nest It looks like a huge mass of trees woven together. >examine guano It looks exactly as you would expect. >x bushes I don't know the word "x." >examine bushes I don't know the word "bushes." >examine feathers It looks exactly as you would expect. >smell guano It smells just like a guano. >l In Roc Nest This nest is made from skillfully woven tree trunks, small bushes, and large amounts of mud and roc guano for glue. Giant black feathers are everywhere. In the center of the nest is an egg the size of a small wagon. Nestled beneath the egg is a featureless white cube. The roc perches on the side of the nest, watching you intently. There is a stained scroll here. >examine stained The scroll reads "caskly spell: cause perfection." >get stained Taken. >gnusto caskly Your spell book begins to glow softly. Slowly, ornately, the words of the caskly spell are inscribed, glowing even more brightly than the book itself. The book's brightness fades, but the spell remains! However, the scroll on which it was written vanishes as the last word is copied. Zarf says, ~Take the scroll.~ Valerie takes the scroll. Zarf walks through the east wall. Dazzling white light flares around him. You follow Zarf through the east wall. Melvin says, ~Where the hell are we?~ ENCHANTER ROOM Zarf says, ~Take the scroll.~ Peter takes the scroll. Zarf says, ~I need to take my own detour. You two, take the down exit, wait for Marvin, and incapacitate him. I'll rejoin you after.~ Zarf touches a shadow and vanishes. You walk down through the floor just as Melvin enters the room behind you. Dead end Melvin will be here at any moment. ~Do you know what to do?~ Valerie asks Peter. ~I hope so, or we're dead.~ Peter says. {You shoot the crossbow at Melvin. He bats away the bolt with a steely arm. Glistening metal is revealed underneath his torn flesh. ~Now, you die!~ he says, and shoots the both of you.} Valerie throws the blanket over Melvin's head. Weirdly, it incapacitates him. ~Arrrrrggh!~ Melvin cries. ~Optical units disabled!~ You shoot the crossbow at Melvin, who frees himself from the blanket too late to deflect the bolt. It plunges straight into his gizzard. ~EEEAGH!!~ he cries his last, before exploding into a million shiny pieces. Melvin is no more. ~That was funky,~ Valerie says. Zarf appears in a cloud of orange smoke, wearing a long black cloak with electroluminescent highlights. He surveys the scene calmly. ~Okay,~ he says, retrieving the blanket and the crossbow bolt. How do we get out of here? ~Like this,~ he says, and withdraws a small white cube and a spell book from his cloak. Zarf begins to intone the blorple spell-- --glaring light... File Room (as Peter and Valerie) Ruined cabinets lie everywhere. ~Now,~ says Zarf. ~Your turn again.~ Valerie intones the caskly spell. Everything goes back into its place. >examine hut The hut is made of irregular stones. The walls are chinked with moss, mud, small stones, a featureless white cube, and an occasional old fur. There is an exit to the east. You hear a gigantic rush of sound as an avalanche tumbles down the mountain. >caskly hut The hut begins to melt, the stones dripping down like wax and the dirt spraying in all directions. "Now you've done it, you meddlesome mage!" screams the hermit. But then the stones start flowing back into place, and the dirt speeds into place between them, and all is changed. The hut looks considerably different, and the cube, no longer necessary, sits in lonely splendor on the ground between you and the hermit. >x hut I don't know the word "x." >examine hut The hut is beautifully constructed out of carefully dressed granite blocks and strong mortar. The construction of the hut is somewhat at odds with the squalor of its contents. There is an exit to the east. ~What happened?~ she asks. ~Take a look,~ says Zarf. File Room (as Peter) Everything back to normal. ~Now you,~ says Zarf. You cast the ? spell on the portal. It vanishes, leaving only a bare wall. ~Congratulations, that's the end of the story,~ says Zarf, pacing back and forth. ~But, that's not *really* the way it happened, is it?~ --glaring light... At last, your troubled fortunes seemed to come to an end. It all happened very quickly: the callback from Red Hat, the bizarre interview with Gary Frick, the handshake, the filling out of W-2 forms, and then your first day of work.^ And then the next day of work, and the next, and the next. Life goes on, routine and normal. *** You never notice the difference *** THE END "; ];